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Not Torture After All
Is "waterboarding" torture? A vexing debate has raged over the question for several years now, but here's an Associated Press report from Monday that ought to settle the question once and for all:
Anti-war protesters are hoping a demonstration of waterboarding will convince a Senate committee to reject Attorney General-nominee Michael Mukasey (myoo-KAY'-zee).
Mukasey has repeatedly refused to say whether he considers the interrogation technique that simulates drowning a form of torture.
About 25 protesters set up the demonstration outside the Justice Department's headquarters. They poured water over the face of a volunteer as he lay on his back; he was reduced to retching coughs and tears in less than four minutes.
By the time of this demonstration, Sens. Chuck Schumer and Dianne Feinstein had already announced their support for Mukasey, which means his confirmation was assured. It is preposterous to call this procedure "torture" when people are willing to undergo it merely in order to make a futile political gesture.
Andrew Sullivan Is Shocked to the Core
"Illinois College Students Accused of Torturing Man With Freshly Baked Cookies"--headline, FoxNews.com, Nov. 6
Hell No, We Won't Go
Maxwell Klinger, Jamie Farr's character on "M*A*S*H," used to dress in women's clothing in an attempt to prove he was insane and gain a discharge from the Army. USA Today reports some American servicemen are doing just the opposite:
Troops in Iraq and elsewhere have tried to avoid being pulled out of combat units by cheating on problem-solving tests that are used to spot traumatic brain-injury problems, military doctors say. . . .
The tests, administered by medics in the field, are the military's primary means of uncovering subtle signs of brain injuries from exposure to blasts.
Reports of cheating began surfacing in Iraq during the summer, says Col. Brian Eastridge, a trauma surgeon who supervises medical care in Iraq and Afghanistan from his office in Baghdad.
Troops had obtained copies of an older version of the test and memorized key words used to gauge short-term memory, Jaffee says. Those who fail areas of the test undergo more sophisticated exams for diagnosing brain injury.
If symptoms persist, soldiers are sent home.
Lt. Col. Michael Jaffee of the Defense and Veterans Brain Injury Center explains the cheaters' motives: "With highly motivated individuals, be they athletes, be they our servicemembers in harm's way, there is a motivation to stay with the unit and stay on the job or stay in the game."
The military has come up with new versions of the test to thwart the cheaters, who had memorized the answers to the old test. And well it should, for cheating is not only dishonest but dangerous. Jaffee says soldiers who fight despite brain injuries risk being "exposed to a second concussion or mild traumatic brain injury. It could have more devastating effects not only on their health, but on the mission's success, or perhaps on the safety of the people on their patrol."
Yet while the cheaters' actions are wrong, their determination is admirable. Their eagerness to serve their country in combat belies the liberal stereotype of soldiers as victims--a stereotype that might have had considerable truth in the era of conscription but that, like much of what passes for liberalism these days, has long been outdated.
Hope Shmope
Fake-newsman Stephen Colbert is waging a Pat Paulsen-like "campaign" for president, attempting to get himself on the Democratic primary ballot in South Carolina. Sen. Barack Obama, counting on a strong showing among the fake-news community, is seeking to keep Colbert off the ballot, CNN reports from Columbia, the state capital:
Two prominent supporters of Illinois Sen. Barack Obama's presidential campaign in South Carolina called state Democratic Party officials and urged them to keep funnyman Stephen Colbert's name off the primary ballot, according to party officials and Obama supporters. . . .
Another Obama endorser who regularly appears at campaign events, state Rep. Bakari Sellers, also made phone calls to members of the party's executive council about Colbert, according to Sellers.
"I placed the calls as a concerned Democrat, realizing that we are a country in despair," Sellers told CNN. "It is not a time for games or to make a mockery of the process."
Wait a minute, we're "a country in despair"? What happened to "the audacity of hope"? Don't tell us that was just a cynical campaign slogan!
Fit to Be Tide
"Boston's voter turnout plummeted to its lowest level in more than two decades yesterday, especially in the city's predominantly nonwhite neighborhoods, a tide of apathy that swept the City Council's only Latino member, Felix Arroyo, out of office," the Boston Globe reports.
A rising tide causes turnout to plummet? Man, that's some bad writing. And does the Globe mean to suggest that this "tide" is discriminating? How did it manage to wash out just that one Hispanic guy?
Here's how:
Several nonwhite leaders said his political capital began to wane, and he did a poor job of mobilizing his supporters.
In June, he did not gain endorsement of the Ward 5 Democratic Committee, which includes Arroyo's liberal base on Beacon Hill and in the Back Bay and in 2005 gave him its only endorsement.
Over the past year, he has been criticized for spotty attendance at City Council meetings, few legislative items passed, and a general lack of interest in the council. Some councilors began referring to his chief of staff, Jamie Willmuth, as the "shadow councilor" because he attends so many meetings on Arroyo's behalf.
Never a prodigious fund-raiser, Arroyo raised even less this year than in previous elections. He had $1,101 in his account on Oct. 31, while his opponents averaged around $60,000.
After the results were in, Arroyo said the lack of interest in the race, and the elimination of the preliminary election hurt his candidacy.
"It really created problems for people who are not traditional voters," he said. "But, hey, you put your record on the line and see what happens."
It sounds to us as though he put his record on the line and the voters found it wanting. Isn't that how democracy is supposed to work?
Wannabe Pundits
"Obviously, things are not going well," writes the Baltimore Sun's Peter Schmuck (don't laugh). "The stock market has turned south, Pakistan is under martial law and the war goes on in Iraq."
Then Schmuck gets to the subject of his column:
Placed in its proper context, the Ravens' confidence-shattering 38-7 loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers [Monday] night and their disappointing 4-4 record might not amount to very much in this crazy, mixed-up world, but if people really cared about putting things in their proper context, they probably wouldn't waste time reading sports columnists with redundant names.
Wow, this is the first time we've seen a sportswriter admit that he writes about politics because his actual job isn't important. That line about "redundant names" is also quite droll. Nice going, Schmuck!
Zero-Tolerance Watch
Arms are for hugging? Not at Illinois's Mascoutah Middle School, as the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports:
A 13-year-old junior high school student was given two days of detention after school officials spotted her hugging friends after school last Friday.
Megan Coulter, an eighth-grade student at Mascoutah Middle School, was hugging her friends goodbye after school Friday when vice principal, Randy Blakely, saw her and told her she would receive two after-school detentions.
Blakely had previously warned Coulter that she was in violation of the school's policy on public displays of affection after she was seen hugging a student at a football game.
The school's policy says that "displays of affection should not occur on the campus at any time."
Stories like this remind us how happy we are to be an adult. We can have a PDA anytime we want, which is why we always bring our BlackBerry when we go on a date.
Be Careful What You Wish For
Yesterday we noted a report in the Washington Post about an incident at George Washington University in which a student who complained of swastikas painted on the doorway of her dorm room turned out to have painted them herself. A reader calls our attention to a report in the GW Hatchet, a student newspaper, which differs from the Post report in some ways.
The Post's Monday-evening report said the student in question "was not identified," but the Hatchet piece does identify her as Sarah Marshak. (The Hatchet piece supposedly was published at 4:45 p.m. Monday and updated at 5:58, before the Post's piece was published at 6:22. But the Hatchet says it interviewed Marshak "Monday evening," so maybe her identity actually was unknown at the time of the Post piece's publication.)
The Post said she would "not face student judicial action," but the Hatchet says she will:
She will now appear before Student Judicial Services and could face federal and District charges, a spokesperson announced Monday afternoon.
Possibly the Post reporter meant to say she would "now face student judicial action" and made a typo.
Marshak has a convoluted explanation for what she did:
In an interview with The Hatchet Monday evening, Marshak, said she only drew the final three of six swastikas on her door in an attempt to highlight what she characterized as GW's inaction. Only hours earlier, Marshak categorically denied the charges.
"I wasn't looking to create this, sort of, insanity," Marshak said in a phone interview. "I wasn't looking to become a media darling. I was just looking for acknowledgment from University that someone drew a swastika on the door."
Marshak said Tara W. Pereira, director of SJS, informed her she would likely be expelled.
An earlier Hatchet piece noted a fact about Marshak's bio that didn't make it into the Monday update:
Sarah Marshak, the freshman who has seen five swastikas appear on her door in the past week, said she is also in the dark about UPD's efforts. Although they have picked her brain about possible suspects, she said investigators have told her little else.
"I would like to see a few cameras in my hall," said Marshak, who is also a Hatchet reporter.
In fact, the university did place a camera in Marshak's hall, and that's how she was caught. GWU seems more generally to have proved itself quite responsive to her complaints about inaction. So she got exactly what she wanted--or said she wanted.
Six-Footed Man
From a Kansas City Star report on Chiefs running back Larry Johnson:
The Chiefs weren't disclosing the status of Johnson other than to say he has a sprain of his middle right foot.
His "middle right foot"? How many feet does this guy have? To have a "middle right foot," he has to have at least three right feet; and if he is symmetric, as most human beings are, that would mean he has three left feet as well. Couldn't he keep playing and just favor the other five feet?
We Blame Global Warming
"Cow Falls Off Cliff and Hits Van"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 6
The Religious Right Has Gone Too Far
"Carbon Capitalists Grab Gas From Pig Waste in Evangelical Quest"--headline, Bloomberg, Nov. 7
Business Is Booming at Tommy's Tavern
"U.S. Newspaper Circulation Dips--but Some Pubs Buck Trend"--headline, InsideBayArea.com, Nov. 6
If Cats Can Do It, Why Not Judges?
"Federal Judge Won't Halt Spraying"--Monterey County (Calif.) Herald, Nov. 6
'Dude, This'll Make Us the Highest Court in the Land!'
"Calif. Court Considers Marijuana Use"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 6
Real Experts Would've Known to Leave It Untied
"Experts Tie Enlarged Heart, Sudden Death"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 6
It's Still 100%
"Extra Weight Said Won't Raise Death Risk"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 6
Have They Considered Cosmetic Surgery?
"Volusia Voters Want New Faces"--headline, Orlando Sentinel, Nov. 7
That Means More Dregs for Indiana and Wisconsin
"Illinois No Longer Bottom Feeder"--headline, Columbus Dispatch, Nov. 6
Breaking News From 1543
"Scientists Discover Planet Orbiting Star"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 6
Breaking News From 1992
"Bill Clinton to Campaign in Western Iowa"--headline, Des Moines Register, Nov. 5
Bottom Stories of the Day
- "Paul McCartney Dating Hamptonite, British Tabloid Says"--headline, Newsday (Long Island, N.Y.), Nov. 6
- "Julia Dreams of Being a Housewife"--headline, Times of India, Nov. 6
- "MSNBC Shifts Liberal"--headline, NewsMax.com, Nov. 6
Converting Gay
Monday's Columbus Dispatch previewed a change that was scheduled to come today (photo by reader Hugh Greentree):
There will be a grand "reopening" of Gay Street on Wednesday. No fanfare is planned, and the street never was officially closed, but tell that to merchants who have struggled to attract customers during the six months it's taken to convert Gay from a one-way street.
The half-mile stretch from Cleveland Avenue to Front Street will open to two-way traffic sometime after the morning rush hour, weather permitting.
It's a big change on Downtown's arterial landscape. Ask how long Gay has been one-way and the official city response is "a long time."
Not that there's anything wrong with that! But take a look at the results
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